No one said it would be easy, but there are ways to cure some of our own pains.
We begin each group session with the same ritual. We introduce ourselves (by first name only). We state briefly what brings us into the meeting today (what we hope to address somehow today). And we share a brief online guided meditation (to get us all into a comfortable state of mind). When grounded together, if we choose to do so we share snapshot stories of a challenge that the past week has created for us, or a success from the past week, or both maybe. Not everyone has a story that they may feel like sharing, and that is OK too. The group leaders work to connect the group around feelings and experiences that may relate to any shared story. This isn’t about trying to solve each other’s problems by rather to share the way things feel to each of us.
Today’s work plan opens a discussion of what might be tried if and when we feel hard pressed by negative thoughts. In truth, talking about negative thoughts is not much fun. They can stir memories of difficult times. We shared a list of 15 powerful questions that we might ask ourselves to push back on our negative thoughts. The questions make sense when a specific negative thought is bounced through the group. Today, the negative thought was about situations that attack our self-esteem. The thought: “Nobody likes me. They never will. And there is noting that I can do to change that.” We tested how some of push-back questions might play out in an internal dialogue with ourselves. For example, we might ask: “Am I 100% Positive this is true?” It is hard, and generally impossible, to be 100% sure of just about anything, and therefore there is a possibility that the negative thought is untrue. This possibility softens the power that the negative thought has over us. Another challenge question was: “What would I tell a friend who was in the same situation?” This was a challenging question in itself. We don’t want to give advice about what to do. Our experiences are our own experiences, and our solutions are also our own solutions. We can share stories about our solutions to make the point that it is possible to find a push back that can deflate the negative energy. We certainly don’t want to make light of the feelings that a friend has when they are struggling with a powerfully negative thought. So, we experiment with what we might say. There was not single response that will fit all situations, but there are push back questions that might be helpful at specific moments.
Source: 15 Powerful Questions to Challenge Negative Thoughts